I like golf. I remember the first time I played. It was a little more than 30 years ago and I was working on a consulting project in Columbia, South Carolina. It was August and it was hot. My client, Jim, came into the office I was using after lunch one day and said, “Hey Arnie, why don’t we get out of here around three and go over to my club and play the back nine?” I tried to get out of it; it was hot. I told him I had never played golf or even hit a golf ball in my life and that was the truth, and that it wouldn’t be any fun for him. “On the contrary,” he said, “it will be fun for me to have someone else to laugh at. I’m the worst golfer in my regular foursome.”
So I ran out to K-Mart and picked up some golf shoes and I rented clubs at the pro shop and we played the back nine. It was hot -- so hot -- and we agreed to limit my hacking at the ball to six swings on par three’s and eight swings on par four’s and five’s. And, oh boy, it was hot and Jim did have a lot to laugh at, especially when I refused to look for my ball in the rough – I just knew there were copperheads, spiders and rattlesnakes in there. Oh my!
So the next day Jim came back and said, “That was fun. Let’s do it again.”
“Oy,” I said. And I thought that perhaps if I looked more like a golfer, I might play better. So I went to a golf store and bought a pair of bright red plaid trousers – I’m talking blood-on-the-sun bright red! But when it became time to change clothes and go to the club, I lost my nerve. I wasn’t a golfer and I hadn’t earned the right to wear the uniform. So I wore my chinos and headed out.
We played the front nine on that second day and on the first par four we came to I made par! I don’t know how. I probably didn’t do anything right; I just got really lucky. The exhilaration was immediate. I thought my heart was going to thump right out of my chest! And if that was the last hole we played, I might still be a golfer today. But no, we played the rest of the nine holes and I got my usual six’s and eight’s. What frustration! What disappointment! What a stupid game!!
I never played again. Why would anyone want to go through that angst on a regular basis? But in the process of relocating from Charlotte back up to Brooklyn recently, I found those preposterous pants in my closet. I tried them on to see how they looked but apparently, as many of you know, apparel has a tendency to shrink over the years, hanging in a closet (it probably has something to do with climate change). So I included them in the four or five bags of clothes and housewares I left out for the National Kidney Foundation pickup. And the next morning, when I was going out for a Starbucks, the pants were back on my doorstep with a note saying – we’re not that desperate!
So I’m not a golfer, but I know what supplies will result in a competitive advantage to those of you who do embroidery for golfers. These are products you will want to have readily available in your machine room.
Get some thread with a demonstrated reputation for withstanding the sun’s rays – increased UV protection is what I’m talking about. Golfers, duffers and hackers all play the game in the sun and no one wants their beautiful embroidery to get bleached by the sun and fade. The same is true of non-apparel golf items – towels, golf bags, club head covers, gloves and pin flags. An additional benefit to the thread I’m thinking of is that its vivid colors and weight make it ideal for the small lettering associated with country club logos. Unfamiliar with what I’ve described? Just ask me.